I have note been handling Covid-19 and my son’s new disability very well. I’m using eating as a coping strategy. I’m still stressed. And, I’ve gained 40 pounds since March.

I thought I had already figured out how to overcome this. I realized when I first started my weight loss journey that I had understood that it was a bad coping strategy. I thought that understanding that it WAS a coping strategy allowed me to move past it.

Then 2020 hit. Covid-19 hit. My son’s disability hit. Kindergarten at home hit. And I found out that I was not passed it, that it was still there.

I think part of the problem may be my mindset. I couldn’t just delete the eating, the eating was helping me deal with the situation. The problem was it was also causing other issues, weight gain. I needed to replace it with other strategies.

I found this article about coping strategies and depression. There is a “Multiphasic Inventory for Measuring Coping” questionnaire called Coping Orientations to Problems (COPE) that lists 15 different types of coping mechanisms. I think for me eating became #14, Alcohol and Drug Disengagement. I am using food to relieve unpleasant emotions.

The research goes on to state that people will often choose the least effective coping strategies, one ones that focus on emotions and emotional release. This resonates with me. Before researching this I made a list of possible coping strategies to use, and they were all in the emotions area.

The article highlights 5 coping strategies that are often when professionals treat patients with mood disorders.

• focus on emotions, (concern about own emotions and tendency to express them);
• active coping (taking action to try to get rid of or decrease the stressor or its consequences);
• planning (deliberations how handle the problem);
• seeking social support for instrumental reasons,  (asking for advice, help or information);
• restraint coping  (waiting for the right time to do something).

I also need to get a handle on the physiological aspect of all of this. I have been doing a lot of mental disengagement (watching TV / Internet) and not prioritizing sleep. Not getting a good night sleep can mess with stress, hormones, and metabolism. So add sleep to that list.

So I think I need to

• Start a list of stressors
• Work on ways to reduce their stress or impact
• Talk with my wife about how to handle them
• Ask for help / advice / information on the stressors
• Figure out the right time to use certain coping strategies
• Sleep